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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Daunted by completion - unchallenged by goals

I hate it when the threat of completion looms up to terrify me. Right now there are so many unfinished knitted garments tucked about my house, I could probably clothe the whole county if I ever sat down and finished them. That's not all - there are the uncluttered closets, the undecorated screened porch, and the final un-lost pounds on my body. Sometimes I just feel daunted by it all. I imagine my poor son, shoveling through the detritus of my life, all snippets and plastic zip-lock bags with $15 circular knitting needles in them, tangled in faded, flattened merino yarn, wondering if he should just set a match to everything.

So what is it about completion that is so ... so awful?

Well. Of course, there is the FearFactor. The doubt about the success of the finished project. Will it fit? Will it make me look like a sausage, cased in wool? Will I ever wear it in public?

Then there is the ShameThing ... closely tied to the FearFactor. Will I have to admit to others that I am not so clever, talented, skilled, as I puff myself off to be. Worse yet! Will I have to admit it to myself?

These two evil genies swirl around me till they conjure up the evilest genie of all, the PityPrincipal - which means, the longer you put off completion, the sorrier you feel for yourself - till it becomes the unfinished project's fault and you can start something new.

Traditional thought is that when mired in procrastination, one identify a goal, the steps to reach said goal, then transform each step into a goal on its own. Stringing successful goal achievements, like beads, is supposed to get you to the final, gleaming, blocked and darned garment goal!

Alas, I as your classic, solid
Strength of the preferences %
I'm not too likely to be too tickled about reaching goals. It took me nearly 10 years to actually feel any pride in my part of the new library building. Compliments about my finished objects usually hit my flattery button about a year or two after I receive them. So - tell me - what do you do when you are completely unchallenged by goals? 

1 comment:

  1. I do actually like achieving my goals, but I sometimes don't enjoy the process of actually getting there. Take my current goal, for instance. I need to dye up 200gm of fibre for a swap. I have done some already but I'm really not satisfied with it - I feel it is far too bright and in your face. So, here I am putting off the dyeing up of another batch out of fear that it will, again, not be good enough (I've seen examples of my swappee's work - sigh! Far superior to mine!). I'm finding it really hard when I need to dye it up in colours that aren't necessarily those I would choose for myself.

    So am I daunted by completion? Not really. I WANT this to be done already! Am I unchallenged by my goal? No, quite the opposite! This time I'm completely challenged by it!