Happy New Year and Knitting Too

Time for those New Year's Resolutions.

Huh? What's that? It's March? Well? So? Who says you can't make resolutions as the world is beginning to emerge from the misery that was the past 2 months? Heck. It was all TheQueen could do to put on shoes and go to work every day. There wasn't anything left to help her Make Plans for Better Times.



But that was then and this is now. This morning I woke up with this old Lovin' Spoonfull song playing in my head. Something about the light, the angle of the sun, the sounds outdoors, seems to have magically opened up the cobwebby windows in my head and I can see clearly enough to actually make plans. But in thinking about those plans it dawned on me that, this year, at least, I don't want to plan too far forward. Perhaps it's because, to quote Susan Miller from AstrologyZone, "Mars has been tearing through my earned income sector since December 7, and it seems I've needed to spend it as fast as it has been coming in." No duh after a heart attack at Christmas just in time to wipe out the deductible of 2013 and suck up the 2014 allotment. And things Financial don't look any better in April when: "Next month, we will have two very hard eclipses, April 15 and 29. The one that will affect you more will be the one April 15, and it will affect the source of your income." Ouch!

Oh well. C'est la vie - et c'est l'argent. Guess I won't buy any frivolous stuff for a while. Thank goodness I don't need any new clothes, either. Mental note to self "Do Not Look At Elann dot Com's March Specials".

Anyway - back to the New Year's Resolutions and planning ahead and all that stuff. It dawned on me that I don't really feel like tracking down and tackling any Big Things this year. What I have is a whole bunch of little tidying up things that need to be done, in no particular order.  So for the rest of this Has To Get Better year, I plan to tackle one small tidying-up chore a month. One irritating bit of sloppiness in my life will be eliminated.  One corner of messiness will be made into a retreat of serene and pleasurable organization. 

And No. I'm not assigning all 10 of them right now. I will pick one each month - the one who's completion would make me happiest right now. And Right Now that chore is to update the address book. We have a hideous rolo-dex that ThePrince wants to keep but I'm going to take that, the bag of Christmas cards with envelopes, and the drawer stuffed with Other Correspondence, and create my very own database. Yes. Yes. I know how to do this. I even think it's fun - it's such a Virgo thing to enjoy - like filling out forms. Just thinking about being able to print address labels for Christmas Cards makes me happy. 

Creativity? Where is the creativity in TheCastle? Well - there actually has been some and there's quite a lot more up ahead because, in fact, some of my Other Messy Corners involve Drawing and Knitting, Prayer and Writing. In the darkest days of late January I picked up a copy of Knitters Magazine and fell deeply in love with Fiona Ellis' pink cabled sweater. (Shush. Do NOT ask me about my oatmeal Aran sweater. We aren't ready to talk about that yet.)

You can see it on the web page - with the number 58 beside it - that's the page number where you'll find it in the magazine. I love and admire Ms. Ellis SO much. I feel blessed to have taken a class from her and have longed to knit at least one of her designs ... which is a rare desire for TheQueen, who tends to only knit stuff she's made up herself. Of course, with finances hijacked by Mars and, even in the wretched month of January, the budding desire to tidy up the clutter in TheCastle, I didn't want to buy any new yarn. Diving into the stash, though, I found a bag of, now discontinued, Louisa Harding Jasmine - in this pretty coral color. It's a blend of cotton, bamboo, silk and polyester and there is probably only enough to knit this sweater with short sleeves - but it knits to gauge and will make the best warm weather sweater to throw on in chilly air conditioned offices come this summer. 

In an effort to cheer up his deeply depressed queen, ThePrince has been reading Tolkien out loud and this has proved to be a wonderful project to knit while listening. I almost never knit flat pieces but I'm following the directions on this project. Slow going,  a little sloppy with guttered purl rows, but I'm okay with it and definitely not in any hurry. Here is what I've done so far.

And here's where I'm going to end up. (back view) I'm just about ready to start the decreases and to knit that little flourish of a cable at the top.

There has also been drawing - for pencils and pens have called out to me in a sad lament. Well - they did a few weeks ago and I responded.  Though creaky - my hands are starting to feel more confident with each day's practice. Yes. Lots of faerie stuff - and we can just pretend it's inspired by Tolkien. If there is more to say later - it will be said. 

Mostly it's just fun. 

So. That's the state of things here in TheCastle. TheQueen is moving forward into 2014 at last, with a lighter heart and sunnier outlook than the cold drear of January would have predicted. It is now Tomorrow - and we are all At Tara. 

Dancing Around My Weight Loss Goal - a Left Brain Right Brain Conversation

If you hadn't realized, I am a fluffy woman (love that term)
who has spent a lifetime werkin' on it. At the moment I'm again on a downward effort via my own combination of Weight Watchers, Vegan, and ThingsIMadeUpMyself. Yesterday I weighed in at just a few ounces over last week's weight.  That's just over 3 pounds from my WW goal and just under 2 pounds from not having to pay to go to meetings. I like those meetings and plan to continue to go fairly regularly when I reach that goal, even though the rule is only once a month. I like the WW employees and I like the people who attend. But I would rather have the $. 

When I look in the mirror, though, I see that I would also rather weigh 10 lbs less than that goal weight. It's a proportion thing and it's an age thing. The only thing that would keep me heavier would be if my face sagged too much at the lower weight (also an age thing). But way back in 2003 when I first picked this WW goal I thought I'd look and feel better at that lower weight. I just didn't want to work towards it any more. Now, almost a decade later and half an inch shorter, I need to see if this is right for me. 

So. So what's going on? I'm playing around with the same few pounds - or even ounces - again. Time to get my Left Brain Wild Child talking to my Right Brain School Marm and see what we can do to start moving again. 

 

LB  Well, my friend - we're starting to dance away from our weight loss goal again. Want to talk about it? 

RB   Yes 

LB   So, do you want to get slender? 
RB     Yes but I'm afraid 
LB    What are you afraid of? 
RB    I'm afraid I'll have to work this hard for the rest of my life 
LB    Oh - I understand how that feels. I suspect, though, that if we get used to good habits we might not feel they're such a burden. Don't you love going to the gym now that it's a habit?

RB    Well. Yes.

LB    Okay, so what else? 
RB   I'm afraid I won't be able to live up to our expectations. And I'm tired 
LB    What are you tired of? 
RB   I am tired of having to think all the time. Think about what to eat. Think about exercising. thinkthinkthink 
LB     Yeah - I understand that too. I'm a little tired of it too.  How else do you feel? 

RB    I don't feel free enough 
LB    What would make you feel more free? 
RB   LOL - a cook in the kitchen who made all the decisions for me and they were all good ones. And restaurants that figured out how to make good-for-me food as tasty and cheap as not-so-good-for-me food. 
LB   Well. I'd like that too - but what can I do to help you feel more free? 

RB  Give me a safety net. Make the lists. Make the plan. Plan out meals. Take time to do your job. 
LB   Hmmmm. I can do that. I even like doing that. But it means not doing other things. Time is finite when it comes to this sort of thing. You have to be willing to Not Play with Other Things while I do all this list making and planning. 
RB    When? When? 
LB    How about Thursday afternoon? But you will have to be quiet 

RB    OK - I can be quiet while you're working. 
LB    And we may miss our drawing session that day and have to double up on the weekend

RB    OK 

LB    Anything else? 

RB    I am getting older and I don't know who I am as an old lady 

LB   You're the same person you always were 

RB   No I'm not - I have creaky bones and aching joints sometimes and I have to watch out for my back and I'm scared I'll look bald if I let my hair turn grey but I'm afraid I'll look stupid with an old lady face and died hair. 

LB    Nobody's looking at you that hard 

LB    I'm looking at me 

RB   How can I help?

LB   Oh. I didn't think anybody could help. Can you make a plan about that too? 

RB   I'm sure I could 

LB   When When When?

RB   Well - hmm. How about this weekend? No. Wait. Hmmm. How about Labor Day weekend? And btw, I'm glad to learn you see the value of all my list making and plan writing ... 

LB   I've always valued you - I just don't like it when you forget about me 

RB   Fair enough. Well - Let's work together on this 

LB   Deal 

   Well. Who knew? I'll be back when I have plans to share. Hope you got a chuckle out of all this.  

DRAWING some conclusions ...

So. I have been drawing this month ... if not every day, I am at least up to ten 20 minute sessions. There have been days when I truly couldn't find 20 minutes to spare. But I've persevered and will continue to do so - it's been such fun exploring pencil on paper, line and shadow.

One of the things I love about practicing drawing is how it makes me look at the world differently. Driving in to town I examine the shapes of the open spaces the trees create as they branch over the highway. I notice what the different little black shadow spaces look like - see the blank white spots created by sunlight on leaf tops. With a librarian - it's all about the story. With an artist - it's all about the shapes.

I firmly believe that everyone can learn to draw at least some. My response, when people tell me they "can't draw a straight line with a ruler" (and note - I don't say 'you use a pencil to draw') is to ask them if they can write in cursive - if they can sign their name.  All of them say they can - to which I reply - what is a more complicated shape to draw than a lower case letter K? The truth is - writing is just a speedy type of drawing and if people practiced drawing as much as they practiced handwriting they could all draw - at least as well as they can write. It is the looking - the noticing - that makes drawing so different from writing. It is the incredible amount of time and concentration it takes to fill in all the details that makes a picture different from letter. And it is the fact that words are not being used in a drawing to help explain what's on the page that makes our relationship to art different from our relationship to a book.

Something else I've learned as I've sketched away is that it is much easier to draw from a photograph than from real life. No matter how good or vivid or well angled a photograph is - it's still only a 2 dimensional representation of something, which is what I'm trying to create with pencil and paper. Drawing from real life involves slowing down the part of the brain that speed-dials spacial relationships from eye to brain. My one drawing from a real object is so distorted and did so frustrate me that I have decided to stick with photographs for the rest of the month. One needs successes (or perhaps only modest failures) in the beginning to keep one's confidence up. LOL. At least, TheQueen needs them.

Still and all - I am having a splendid time with this exercise. It's supposed to become a habit, you know - something I do every day. It is also part of another habit I wanted to incorporate into the Life of TheQueen - to take one step every day towards a Big Life Goal - and one of my BLGs is to be able to draw - in fact - to live an artistic life. Art really matters to me and now that my mother no longer provides me with it - I need to make my own.

So. May your own BLGs be achieved - and may you take a step towards one today.

Now where's my pencil ......