A Weight-ey Issue or Getting My Act Together

Ooops. I wrote this a week ago and forgot to post it. But I think it's worth sharing (because of course everyone is interested in mememememe) and it will be interesting to come back here a month from now and see if I hit the target this time. As of last week, 2016 was .0658% over and I hadn't yet mapped out the year with resolutions, plans and lists. At least, I hadn't completed all my lists. Of course, I never do complete them. Usually I just stop adding to them somewhere around Easter.

So - what's the hold-up? What's blocking the flow of New Year's Delight? What's causing me to suffer from Non-Startitis? Time to sit down with TheBrains and figure this thing out.

Okay, guys - what's going on? Why are we such slugs?

LEFT BRAIN: Ho Hum.  La de da da da.

RIGHT BRAIN: Where is the chocolate? Why doesn't anybody have any chocolate around here?

LEFT BRAIN: Vanity Vanity, life is Vanity

RIGHT BRAIN: I need sugar. No. Butter. Where's the butter?

LEFT BRAIN: I think I'll take a nap

RIGHT BRAIN: Cheese! No. I want Cheese. Macaroni and cheese. Lobster macaroni and cheese. with bacon. 


Hey Guys. This is not working. Besides. I know you're listening to me, even if you do pretend you're not.

LEFT BRAIN: Okay. What do you want now? La! I can't wait till I ...

DON'T say it.

RIGHT BRAIN: Say what?

LEFT BRAIN: Okay. I won't. But you know what WE are all thinking

It doesn't matter.  Putting all positive action off till that One Fine Morning will only ruin the here and now and leave a wake of unfinished obligations that shames us in the future. We're going to deal with the sluggishness of 2016 and we are going to start with the Weight Creep. You do realize we're heavier than we've been in 3 years, don't you?

LEFT BRAIN: Don't look at me. I'm not the one pawing through cabinets looking for cheesycocolatesugar bombs.

RIGHT BRAIN: Hey! We're all in this together.

She's right. We're all in this together and we are not all fitting into those skinny jeans, either. So what are WE going to do about it?

RIGHT BRAIN: Yeah, what are WE going to do about it, Miss Naggypants List-maker?

LEFT BRAIN: I've started many lists and whenever things get hard you just wander off. I can't make a list if you aren't giving me input.

Listen, guys, blame throwing isn't going to do us any good. So let's start with this question:  When it comes to our weight, what is non-negotiable?

LEFT BRAIN: Hmmmmm

RIGHT BRAIN: Uhhhhhh

LEFT BRAIN: Getting too fat for all our pretty clothes

RIGHT BRAIN: It has to be fun

Good - now - what is important?

LEFT BRAIN: Not paying Weight Watchers to go to their meetings

RIGHT BRAIN: Looking Hot Hot Hot

LEFT BRAIN: Being at goal

RIGHT BRAIN: Finding a way to eat and exercise that feels comfortable

LEFT BRAIN: But you know that can be hard

RIGHT BRAIN: I don't mind hard.

LEFT BRAIN: It takes time though, to plan and shop for healthy stuff

RIGHT BRAIN: I don't mind spending time and I love to shop

LEFT BRAIN: You have to decide, though. Decide what we are going to eat for the week.

RIGHT BRAIN: I know. It's hard for me to decide but ... but I like to try new things



this is all good. What else is important?

LEFT BRAIN: Health - strength, vigor, pride

RIGHT BRAIN: Yeah! I want to be a winner at the weight game!


Well - good. Good to hear you thinking this through

RIGHT BRAIN: ahem

With Feeling

RIGHT BRAIN: Thanks

So. is there anything that's desirable ... but maybe not really important.

LEFT BRAIN: Weight 143 lbs.

RIGHT BRAIN: Sculpted arms. too cool. wouldn't that be fun?

So are they important?

LEFT BRAIN: Nah. Just ... you know ... desirable.

RIGHT BRAIN: Yeah. I could live my life without either of those.

Okay - so ... What are we going to do about this?

LEFT BRAIN: Hmmmmm

RIGHT BRAIN: Uhhhhhh.

LEFT BRAIN: Ehhhhhh

RIGHT BRAIN: (Pssst. You got any sort of list)

LEFT BRAIN: Well. Okay. Umm. Let's start with the here and now. Let's start with what we weigh tonight at WW.

RIGHT BRAIN: I'm not sure I like WW any more.

LEFT BRAIN: Well, neither am I, but let's give it a try for, oh, say, 5 weeks. Till March 1.

RIGHT BRAIN: Okay.

LEFT BRAIN: So - we start with tonight's weight and we give it a real honest chance. We'll plan out our meals each week and shop for just that stuff.

RIGHT BRAIN: Uh. gulp. Okay.

LEFT BRAIN: We'll plan a dessert every night too.

RIGHT BRAIN: Oh. Whew. that's better.

LEFT BRAIN: but it has to come from the WW cookbooks and fit within the points.

RIGHT BRAIN: I'm good with that.

LEFT BRAIN: And we will get in 10K steps every day.

RIGHT BRAIN: what about the gym?

LEFT BRAIN: We can do that too or instead of, but the fitbit will register 10K steps. Come on - you know you want that. And you know why, you sneaky competitive thing you.

RIGHT BRAIN: (blushing) Yeah. I didn't think I was so competitive.

LEFT BRAIN: I know. In fact, you brag about not being competitive.

RIGHT BRAIN: Well, I don't really care if I'm not the best on the fitbit roster but I do care if I'm not the best AND I didn't reach 10K steps a day. I don't mind if I'm not the best but I mind if I didn't give myself a chance to be.

LEFT BRAIN: I knew that. It's one of the things I like about you. One last thing.... that I promise won't be too hard.  We're going to put a tall cup of water on the kitchen counter every morning when we're making coffee - and we're going to empty it twice

RIGHT BRAIN: Oh - easy peasy. the sink is right there.

LEFT BRAIN: ha ha - funny you. We will drink 2 tall cups of water every day. You know we'll feel better for that.

RIGHT BRAIN: Okay. Just foolin' with ya anyway.

LEFT BRAIN: Okay. So. You good with this plan?

RIGHT BRAIN: Actually - yes. I am.

LEFT BRAIN: Ready to start pawing through the cookbooks?

RIGHT BRAIN: yup.



Well. Good. This is a start. I'm glad you two have a plan. Let's see if we can lick this weight creep - and maybe unplugging that will unplug the creativity too.

LEFT BRAIN: Maybe

RIGHT BRAIN: May Bees don't fly in January either

Cute. Now, lets' roll.