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Sunday, January 4, 2015

Being At Goal - an ENFP's perspective

Did you ever take the Myers Briggs Personality Inventory? Do you know how you scored? Have you ever even heard of it?  Here's a link.

And here's a quote from their homepage:

"The essence of the theory is that much seemingly random variation in the behavior is actually quite orderly and consistent, being due to basic differences in the ways individuals prefer to use their perception and judgment."

And just for a little more help - Perception is all the ways people take in information and Judgement is the conclusions they come to based on what they've gathered.  In fact, the "P" and the "J" are the last two contrasting items on the inventory and people do tend to either enjoy the gathering process more or enjoy the coming to conclusions more.

I am a "P" and I LOVE the gathering process. What a good cavewoman I would make! A true hunter and gatherer.

The important thing to remember about all this is that - everyone can both gather enough information and come to conclusions - it's just that they fall into the two categories of preference.   As a "P" I finish tasks because I know I should - or even must.  I am a big girl and I can do what I have to do.  I even admire the finishers of this world. I hire them! I do this because that is their strength. Just thinking about what my desk looks like is proof to me that I am pure "P" on the spectrum and I have a quasi secretary who is pure "J" and together we accomplish a lot.  She often says "I don't see how you do so much" and I smile. I have quit trying to tell her I accomplish because she makes me - she doesn't believe me. Evidently that's one conclusion she won't acknowledge.

Given that TheQueen is such a "P" I think I have a unique perspective on the term "At Goal". For 3 years I have weighed within 10 lbs of a goal weight. The past 2 years I have been within 5 lbs or even smack on that number. The goal was selected back in 2003, in consultation with a WW leader who advised me not to select the highest allowable weight for my (then) height because she said studies show that even most successful people stay at or slightly above the top weight of their range. In the intervening 12 years I've shrunk an inch, so now, even when I am smack on my goal weight I'm also at the very last ounce for having a healthy BMI.

yeah yeah yeah - I can just hear my Right Brain  emoticon  moaning "Oh Brother - here she is with the numbers again"

But I'm talking about Being At Goal and I'm trying to define what that actually means - to a person who doesn't like to come to closure.  At this very moment I weigh about 153 lbs if  I step on the scale naked.  I weigh in at the WW meeting on Tuesday and I won't be naked. I will be in a sleeveless summer dress, but not naked.  I am seriously thinking of taking our home scale with me to that meeting and calibrating it as soon as I weigh in. I hate guesstimating how close I am to the official goal weight when I am at home.  I would like to know. LOL. Not that I will believe - since believing means concluding and we all know I'm a "P"

But in the big picture of life - as if I really were a cave-woman - I would be and would have been at goal for 3 years.  So why doesn't it feel like that?  When do I feel like I am at goal? When is it true? And do I resist admitting that I'm at goal because I don't like things to come to an end? What does a person who is at goal feel like? What does she do on January 1?

 (and if I'm such a "P" why do I eradicate evidence of Christmas on January 1?  HA!  I don't! There will be Christmas clutter I forgot to put away being uncovered long into the summer. It never ends. I will never come to a conclusion. Bwa Ha Haaaaa! and Left Brain can't make me!) emoticon

Ooops. sorry. Hunk Ra just channeled. It's a Doonesbury thing.

And of course - I still don't have any answers. I know I will whittle away a few excesses over the next few weeks so that I don't have to pay for a WW meeting. I like going to the meetings because you get to focus on an aspect of healthy living each week. Information gathering - it's a "P" thing. Also - I am buddying a friend to her goal and I know having me along helps - and I really like her and want her to succeed. She is a "J". She will honor that goal. She will savor and enjoy and delight in being at goal.

I will also explore some new foods and new ways of cooking this year.  Well. I always do. It's more "P" stuff. And I would like to experiment with planning out my meals for a week. This is a particularly difficult thing for a "P" to do because - hey - you know - conclusions.

But the by-product of coming to conclusions about the week's meals will be: I have more Free Time To Play! If I planed my meals and say, made crock pot meals - I could come home, hang up my coat - and voila! - dish up dinner.  I could budget time and money better. I could be perfect. I could be a "J"!   emoticon (Left Brain says, "my turn!")

Hmmm. Is something beginning to emerge from the fog of hunting and gathering? Could it be that Being At Goal - for an ENFP, that is - will always have to be about the by-products - not the goal itself?  Is it that we have to dance around the goal, aiming for Other Things, so that we get tricked into getting to goal too?

Now that I am at the "just tweak it" stage of weight loss/management I'll have to start examining more closely why it matters so much. Now that the health risks, the clothing options, the physical appearance part all have three years of experience and are beginning to feel normal instead of Fresh and New and Exciting and Brag-worthy it may be time to look a little deeper into my soul and ask it what it wants out of life.  Without the "Lose 20 lbs" target up ahead I feel a little lost. Nobody tells you this, but I suspect we all know it deep down. It may be what keeps so many of us clinging to the bad old ways, the sloth and slug activities, the bag of Cheetos.

So if you are not getting to goal when you know you can, when you've come so far, when you've gotten so close - maybe you need to dance around goal and aim for a different target. I bet, deep down inside you, there are Other Targets you want. I know there are for me. As they surface, I'll come back and share.

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