Retail Therapy with Sister

TheQueen had an appointment with a new doctor yesterday - way off in the big city. Just a check-up. Of course, yesterday was a state holiday and she was horrified to think that she'd wasted a perfectly good holiday when she could have used a sick leave day but the happy news is that she really really really liked the new doctor, who only took 20 minutes yet made me feel like she had all the time in the world. That is a wonderful trait in a doctor.

But since I had already made plans to be in the city - and since it's still January and New Year and Resolutions and stuff - I also made up a shopping list for Stuff I can't get here unless I order on-line. And Stuff I Won't Order On-line. And I called Sister and asked her to join me at the biggest shopping center in the city.

Only it's not in the city.

It's way out on the frontier of Henrico County.



And it's not the only mega-giga-wowza-brick extravaganza-shopping destination out there on West Broad. Out there where we used to just call it the road to Charlottesville. Out there where you really can't walk anywhere - you MUST drive a car - south on Lauderdale Drive, around the U turn, through 3 stop lights and ooops. Missed it. Out on West Broad again were fortylevendyhundred strangers are whizzing past you. I know I cut off a woman driving a blue van when I realized that here right now was my turn. Whoever you are, m'am. I am sorry. These places are definitely not human scale.

What Broad Street Means To TheQueen

I come into that part of the city (I know, it's not a city, but it's where the city activities have moved) via the 295 beltway - a knuckle whitening drive for this rural (c)hick - and am debouched onto Broad Street at least  a mile from my destination and on both sides of the highway there are clusters of shopping and OtherBrickBuildingsThatIAmNotSureAreStores - TheyMayBeOffices for at least a mile or two.

I would love to know what is in those places but for a stranger to find her way into those engineered parking lots is as good as a 3 year sentence into traffic architecture prison. If I had fifty hours to meander around with nothing to do and if it were 7:30 a.m. on a Sunday, I might be tempted to pull off the road and explore. I might not. I might not actually ever find the way past the speed bumps and concrete bumpers back onto the road home. Unlike ThePrince, who will just drive across a curb or a median if he can't find an exit - I am frozen in traffic obedience and will circle the aisles of cars in a faint hope I will find a way out.

In fact - I might never venture out there at all, in spite of the lure of a real brick and mortar Apple store or a Nordstrums, only - there are bras.

I suspect I have no male readers, other than cousins who will just figure I'm a nutcase, so I will continue here with officially girly TMI.  I will talk about bras. Bras for the older ladies. Bras for the older ladies who have both expanded and widened. Bras that wear out and leave you in tattered droopiness.

There used to be a Bra Lady in Carytown - a delightfully old neighborhood in Richmond City Proper where you can park your car and then walk all over the place. You could even park your car way out on Malvern or Hanover, in a residential neighborhood, and get in some invigorating exercise before you actually go shop. The store moved up and down the 10 blocks of West Cary depending on their lease options but Betty, the Bra Babe was always there, an old New York garment district denizen who could measure you and fit you and have you walking out of the shop feeling 10 years younger and 20 lbs lighter.

Thank god for Betty the Bra Babe because she taught me that there is a solution to a droopy middle aged body and it's not Jenny Craig or gym membership or a time machine. It is a well fitted bra. But time and high rents took Betty away from here and TheQueen was left with whatever was available at Walmart - not the best options - definitely not optimum options.  At last she had the bright idea of writing to the fashion consultant for the Richmond Times Dispatch for advice on the best bra fitters in the city and she was directed to Blythe.  Now - I will only shop at Blythe.  The link is to the Yelp review page but they do have a facebook page here.

Reviews are helpful and you're going to see good ones and not so good ones. Eh. TheQueen is not just a convert - she is a devotee. In part it's because I've been 100% satisfied with everything I've bought from them, but in part it is also because I spent enough time finding them - I am not in the mood to hunt down another bra source. And I can afford them. Or if I can't, I can save up for them.  No bones about it - this place is pricey. But the first bra I purchased there 3 years ago, is still holding up in spite of the fact that I do put it in the washing machine. Oh - I didn't when it was new - I was all about the delicate hand washing. That fades after a few months. No - the older bras are not as crisply new looking any more but they still hold the girls up and more importantly - in.  And after yesterday's purchase, the 2 older ones are now retired to weekend duty.

There is absolutely nothing as invigorating and happy making as a really great fitting bra. Beneath your clothes you feel well supported, un-jiggly, and comfortable. It's the comfortable part that is so important underneath your clothes. On the outside - whatever you had on will just look so much better. Narrower. Crisper. Hotter. The first time I shopped at Blythe I insisted on wearing the new bra home - even though that canceled the return policy. But why would I ever return something that made me look and feel that good?

Now I try to get a new one every 6 months or so. One year I even treated Sister to one for her birthday. In fact, she met me there yesterday, though she was not spending. She wanted to go to the Apple store - and we did - and I drooled. Well there you have it. I will pop the big bucks for the right bra. She does it for a computer. But hers is a business expense so it's tax deductible. Hmmm. I wonder. I wonder if a good bra - something that does so much for physical and mental health - could be a medical deduction.

TheQueen never knows where her thoughts will take her when she opens up blogspot dot com but at least she knows she'll be well fitted after a little Retail Therapy with Sister.

Before and After photos

 BEFORE

AND

 AFTER

Psyche!

Fooled ya, didn't I?

I bet you thought you'd see me in a cover-up dress and then a bikini? Nope. This is the kitchen pantry cabinet make-over.   And truth is - the after doesn't look all that different in a photograph from the before. But if you're trying to cook in my kitchen  - well - then you can really tell. This cabinet is usually a jumble of cans and envelopes and bottles. There were things in it that hadn't been seen in years. Cooking had become frustrating and I was beginning to buy duplicates. And there is that sense of wastefulness about not eating what I have - not honoring my present riches in the quest for greater ones. So yesterday the whole cabinet was emptied - one shelf at a time - starting at the top - scrubbed down, reorganized and now, though it's still full - it is also functional.

The bag of give-aways was much smaller than I thought it would be - but there are some cans to take to the food bank.

The cans of food have been organized to facilitate how we eat now. And by golly - meals have been planned to eat up the stuff that I am tired of looking at and probably won't buy again. We eat a lot of Asian-inspired stir-fry and there are bamboo shoots, bean sprouts and water chestnuts - and they've been in the cabinet a long time - but they will be gone before February 1. Ditto the canned chicken and cranberry sauce. They will make a nice casserole with leftover Thanksgiving stuffing mix on some frozen winter evening.  Tuna will get together with noodles in a casserole too - I have a good low-fat recipe.  The canned fruit will go into green smoothies till there are none left. Cans of beans and tomatoes rotate swiftly through my kitchen so I don't have anything in particular planned for them. I did give them more space though.

It's not that I won't buy these things again - it is that I won't buy them before we eat up what we already have.

Where I made the biggest change was in the spice shelf and rack. Spices are hard to keep organized and if you buy wasabi for just one recipe the durn jar hangs around forever. My spice rack is old enough that the jar lids are cracking and only McCormick spices fit in the holes. Yet it's the easiest way to get at spices. And what in the world do I have so many seeds for? Sesame, fennel, celery, allspice, coriander, it goes on and on.  I am not that adventurous a cook!

The librarian in me likes things in alphabetical order but organizing the spice rack solely in alphabetical order means I give precious real estate to spices I rarely use, so this time I organized it in a more Dewey-like way - a la category -  and then put things in alphabetical order.  I love the McCormick's grilling spices to use on tofu. Tofu is pretty tasteless so I vary our stir fry with these spice combos.

So now there is a side of the rack that is ONLY for tofu stir-fry flavors. The other sides have the more general spices and herbs - in alphabetical order, of course. starting with Basil - which I use all the time, not allspice - which I use only at Christmas time.

After my frenzy of tossing-of-the-old, there are now some empty spice jars with rickety lids. I believe the Penzey's store in Richmond sells this size jar and lid so maybe I can spiff them up a bit.  They will be dedicated to the curry spices - another staple in our family, so that I can have them ready to hand. As for the spices in the cabinet - they are either exotics or duplicates or the jars are oversized. They all have dots on them and if they aren't used in 6 months I am tossing them.

Something else I learned while reorganizing things is that I won't be buying the big French's Worcester sauce any more. It's just a shade too big to fit on the shelf with the rest of the bottles. This cabinet is not adjustable so I will change either the brand or the quantity I buy. I hate having that big bottle up high.

I also pulled out all the loose recipes from the space underneath the cabinet - next to the microwave. I'm going through them today and keeping only the ones I want to try again. Inspired by my cousin, who already did this,  I plan to make a loose leaf notebook of the recipes I love - like this one:

Cuban-Style Pork and Sweet Potato Slow Cooker Stew

So - in honor of my Clean Kitchen - a sight you might not get a chance to witness again - here is the 20 feet of kitchen counter in all its glory.

Happy New Kitchen Year - want an orange?

Being At Goal - an ENFP's perspective

Did you ever take the Myers Briggs Personality Inventory? Do you know how you scored? Have you ever even heard of it?  Here's a link.

And here's a quote from their homepage:

"The essence of the theory is that much seemingly random variation in the behavior is actually quite orderly and consistent, being due to basic differences in the ways individuals prefer to use their perception and judgment."

And just for a little more help - Perception is all the ways people take in information and Judgement is the conclusions they come to based on what they've gathered.  In fact, the "P" and the "J" are the last two contrasting items on the inventory and people do tend to either enjoy the gathering process more or enjoy the coming to conclusions more.

I am a "P" and I LOVE the gathering process. What a good cavewoman I would make! A true hunter and gatherer.

The important thing to remember about all this is that - everyone can both gather enough information and come to conclusions - it's just that they fall into the two categories of preference.   As a "P" I finish tasks because I know I should - or even must.  I am a big girl and I can do what I have to do.  I even admire the finishers of this world. I hire them! I do this because that is their strength. Just thinking about what my desk looks like is proof to me that I am pure "P" on the spectrum and I have a quasi secretary who is pure "J" and together we accomplish a lot.  She often says "I don't see how you do so much" and I smile. I have quit trying to tell her I accomplish because she makes me - she doesn't believe me. Evidently that's one conclusion she won't acknowledge.

Given that TheQueen is such a "P" I think I have a unique perspective on the term "At Goal". For 3 years I have weighed within 10 lbs of a goal weight. The past 2 years I have been within 5 lbs or even smack on that number. The goal was selected back in 2003, in consultation with a WW leader who advised me not to select the highest allowable weight for my (then) height because she said studies show that even most successful people stay at or slightly above the top weight of their range. In the intervening 12 years I've shrunk an inch, so now, even when I am smack on my goal weight I'm also at the very last ounce for having a healthy BMI.

yeah yeah yeah - I can just hear my Right Brain    moaning "Oh Brother - here she is with the numbers again"

But I'm talking about Being At Goal and I'm trying to define what that actually means - to a person who doesn't like to come to closure.  At this very moment I weigh about 153 lbs if  I step on the scale naked.  I weigh in at the WW meeting on Tuesday and I won't be naked. I will be in a sleeveless summer dress, but not naked.  I am seriously thinking of taking our home scale with me to that meeting and calibrating it as soon as I weigh in. I hate guesstimating how close I am to the official goal weight when I am at home.  I would like to know. LOL. Not that I will believe - since believing means concluding and we all know I'm a "P"

But in the big picture of life - as if I really were a cave-woman - I would be and would have been at goal for 3 years.  So why doesn't it feel like that?  When do I feel like I am at goal? When is it true? And do I resist admitting that I'm at goal because I don't like things to come to an end? What does a person who is at goal feel like? What does she do on January 1?

 (and if I'm such a "P" why do I eradicate evidence of Christmas on January 1?  HA!  I don't! There will be Christmas clutter I forgot to put away being uncovered long into the summer. It never ends. I will never come to a conclusion. Bwa Ha Haaaaa! and Left Brain can't make me!) 

Ooops. sorry. Hunk Ra just channeled. It's a Doonesbury thing.

And of course - I still don't have any answers. I know I will whittle away a few excesses over the next few weeks so that I don't have to pay for a WW meeting. I like going to the meetings because you get to focus on an aspect of healthy living each week. Information gathering - it's a "P" thing. Also - I am buddying a friend to her goal and I know having me along helps - and I really like her and want her to succeed. She is a "J". She will honor that goal. She will savor and enjoy and delight in being at goal.

I will also explore some new foods and new ways of cooking this year.  Well. I always do. It's more "P" stuff. And I would like to experiment with planning out my meals for a week. This is a particularly difficult thing for a "P" to do because - hey - you know - conclusions.

But the by-product of coming to conclusions about the week's meals will be: I have more Free Time To Play! If I planed my meals and say, made crock pot meals - I could come home, hang up my coat - and voila! - dish up dinner.  I could budget time and money better. I could be perfect. I could be a "J"!    (Left Brain says, "my turn!")

Hmmm. Is something beginning to emerge from the fog of hunting and gathering? Could it be that Being At Goal - for an ENFP, that is - will always have to be about the by-products - not the goal itself?  Is it that we have to dance around the goal, aiming for Other Things, so that we get tricked into getting to goal too?

Now that I am at the "just tweak it" stage of weight loss/management I'll have to start examining more closely why it matters so much. Now that the health risks, the clothing options, the physical appearance part all have three years of experience and are beginning to feel normal instead of Fresh and New and Exciting and Brag-worthy it may be time to look a little deeper into my soul and ask it what it wants out of life.  Without the "Lose 20 lbs" target up ahead I feel a little lost. Nobody tells you this, but I suspect we all know it deep down. It may be what keeps so many of us clinging to the bad old ways, the sloth and slug activities, the bag of Cheetos.

So if you are not getting to goal when you know you can, when you've come so far, when you've gotten so close - maybe you need to dance around goal and aim for a different target. I bet, deep down inside you, there are Other Targets you want. I know there are for me. As they surface, I'll come back and share.

FAITH -- The Guiding Word for 2015

 "I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."

Not every year, but frequently, I find there is one word that seems to guide that particular year's unfurling.  Over this sweet holiday, especially when I'm walking through the forest, the word FAITH has been surfacing in my mind and when it does my whole body is suffused with a warm glow. It's that delicious feeling that tells me I should let FAITH be this year's guide. 

I don't want to sound like a whiner, especially when I think of all the fun things I've done this past year, but I really am glad to see 2014 behind me. There were just too many things that pinched too hard last year - and even a thing or two that kicked me in the knees. At the end of it all, I'm still standing and most of the bruises are fading, but I want something a little sweeter for 2015. I want to spend 2015 in Rat Park.  Martha Beck describes  Rat Park in her book The 4-Day Win. It was an experimental landscape - for rats - designed to find out if the environment pushed animals towards or away from self-destructive behavior. The Rat Park provided everything rats needed to live a life of comfort, stimulation and fulfillment as well as an option for opiate laced water. Rats who had become addicted to morphine were placed in this environment and pretty soon they lost interest in being doped and started doing healthy rat things.  Beck's advice is "Go where you feel like you're in Rat Park." 

I know there is bad juju out there .... some of it will come close to me .... I just don't want to taste it. I want to have the faith that I'll always select the good stuff - the white light - the good juju. 

There are some challenges up ahead this year and there is also a particular goal I want to achieve. No. It is not to weigh 120 lbs and wear a size zero. It is just too embryonic to put out into the blogosphere just yet. I'll certainly need faith to accomplish this, though I also like St. Augustine's quote;

"Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you."

Well, I know I have plenty of work to do to achieve my goal. I look forward to it. Where faith will make the difference will be in taking that first step. And since this is such a quote-ey post, here's a good one from Martin Luther King, Jr. :

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

And so - as I step onto the first rung of 2015, I will let FAITH be the banner I carry. Faith that I will see the right choices to make. Faith that I will get up and move instead of sit back and daydream. Faith that there is joy and happiness and goodness coming my way. Faith that whatever wisdom I possess will make its presence felt. Faith. FAITH. Yes. I believe that is what I wasn't listening to in 2014 - but what I will let take center stage - right up there at the podium - with a microphone - in 2015.

Oh - and - I am tampering with the blog's display too - so have some FAITH that I will come up with a design that is both honest and interesting. Tomorrow. At Tara. 

The New Year

TheQueen hereby resolves to share her New Year's Resolutions 

as soon as she has resolved upon them.