A Secret Sartorial Snooping Shopping Saturday

Of course - now that I am blogging about it, it isn't so secret but I do think I am ready to go poke around some big stores in the city to look at spring clothes.

No. I don't need more clothes. I have mountains of good things to wear - even some newish things. It's just that in spring and fall - I like to look. I want to see what's out there. What's new. Right now I am heartily sick of wool and corduroy and sober shades and tights. My toes want to peep out in coral polish from beneath floral espradrilles. My shoulders want to be lightly covered with cap sleeves. My legs want to be clad in bright colored jeans. And I need a better rain coat. I have one - and it's a bright sunny yellow. But it looks terrible on me. I need something better.

I like to shop with girlfriends too, but then it's all about being with peeps, not about really looking - and selfishly thinking about me me me me me. Scouting missions need to be done alone. Besides - the yarn store in F'burg has sock yarn on sale today. I could pick up some guy colored sock yarn for Christmas gifts.

The garden that was

Or I may stay home and play in the garden. LD has been here this winter and earlier this week he grubbed out all those walnut and sassafras trees and the sumac and blackberries that had choked out everything but the hardiest flowers.  I want to dig up a small vegetable bed this year and slowly increase the beds till I have something like I used to have... only smaller.

There is a tempting stack of New Books and Magazines on the hall table too - I could just stay in bed all day and read. Well. No. I don't believe I could do that because it's too sunny and bright outside - even if it is a bit chilly. Early training still has me believing that if it is not raining outside then I should be Out In The Fresh Air.

Whatever I choose to do - I'm sure it will feel delicious and I'm wishing you a delicious Saturday as well. Ta.

April's Pick of My 12 for 12

Okeydokey (Yeah I know. I'm quaint)

It's a new month and time to pick another good habit to add to my daily routine. In January I added food tracking, with the goal of looking like Helen Miren on my 60th birthday too - well - maybe not in the bikini. Don't really like bikinis. Nor do I hope for the dangle-less neck skin, since I can't afford the surgery I'd need to have that jawline. But you get the picture. I'm aiming at my version of hot at 60.

So far I've done pretty well - clawing my way down to within 10 lbs of my old Weight Watcher's triumphant goal. There have been some ups too, sadly but at least I knew what caused them and several times, knowing how much I've already eaten in a day has proved to be the stop sign I needed to keep me from crashing into excess. Also - with the exception of one week when family duty really kiboshed my efforts, I've tracked everything I've eaten for 3 months.

February I knew I needed something different. February was a fractious cranky month. In February I chose to add prayer to my daily routine. I have my own highly personal way of praying. Well. I suppose everyone does. Mine combines meditation and searching with being open enough to see the value of what I get in answer to those prayers. I love it and it has certainly helped me as I navigated a tough winter. Now and then it's skimmed me over rough ground very lightly. It has been harder for me to squeeze my own special TheQueen type prayer into my days than I'd have thought it would be - I have not been as consistent as I'd like to have been - but for sure I have taken the time for this quiet introspective conversation with the divine a lot more frequently than I would have had I not decided to make the effort. And ... these are things I want to add to my life forever, so I have the next couple of decades to get better at it.

March, knowing things were only going to get tougher, I decided to go easy on myself and add only the habit of drinking enough water every day. Like prayer - I have not been quite as perfect as I'd have liked to be - but there has been progress. The big deal is weekends ... I really can forget to drink water on the weekends. So now when I make coffee in the morning, I fill a big 20 oz glass with water and leave it out on the kitchen counter. Two of those downed get me close to the goal.

And now it is April and though all the astrologers promise me the second half of the month will be much more fun - I still have to slog through the first two weeks. I shan't go into detail about this. Just know that right now is an inordinately demanding time for me. I am far more prone to wake up dreading the day and there's nothing I can do but slog my way forward. There is another side and I will get there. But I'm not putting any unnecessary pressure on my psyche, my spirit or my brain. What I will do is choose to add to my life something I know will help me both now, during these hard days, and later, when things slide into easypeasy land. For April I choose #2 on my original list.

2. Wear a pedometer and get those 10K steps
10K steps, 4 activity points, whatever you want to call it - the goal is to build into my life more movement - I move - but not enough.

I actually love activity and fitness and only drift away from it because it's easy to drift away from anything. I've also been pretty good about getting in some exercise each week. I'm going to make this month the one I totally concentrate on strengthening TheQueen and to start off right, I've scheduled a session with the personal trainer at my gym. 3:30 today. Can't wait!

So. I leave you with my Virgo Horoscope from Rick Levine: 


You can feel the winds of change blowing through your life, but you're not able to catch the right breeze just yet. It's as if the wind tries to pull you off course instead of pushing you toward your desired destination. However, trying to resist can wear you down quickly. Don't try to fight against the prevailing currents. Follow them until they settle down and then you'll be able to correct your course more easily. 

Ta now - may the new moon come quickly.

It's a Birthday

 TheQueen loves her some birthdays. When it's her turn she celebrates all month. When he was growing up, she'd tell LD "The Story of William" on his birthday. She likes to send birthday cards, find funny messages and cry out "Happy Birthday". Second to her own birthday, her favorite is 3/31 which is ThePrince's birthday. (Prince Consort, that is) Here is ThePrince I fell in love with - lo these 40+ years ago.


Here he is in the yurt days with wee tiny PerfectAngelBabyDarlingOnlySon.


It's true - we really did live in a Yurt. That little dog is named Holly. We got her when we were living in Pop's old WWII pup tent, that he'd landed on Normandy Beach with. Uncle Ed brought Holly to us because he thought every family who lived in the country (even if only in a tent) needed a dog. That hot summer evening we sat on the hood of the old Mustang, trying to decide what to name her when both of us blurted out "Holly".

One of the many reasons I'm so crazy about the birthday boy is because he builds paths through the woods - and clears them when Mother Nature leaves tragic litter about.






And he can be counted on to bring home the Christmas Tree!

When any opportunity arises - here is where you will find him - on some boat or another.

Of course - frequently TheQueen takes him on progress with her - New York, Grand Canyon.  

But east or west, home is best - and has been for a long long time.

Happy Birthday Darling

Freaky Friday

Friday, Mar 30th, 2012 -- Our emotions run so strong and deep today that we hesitate to share them, even with loved ones. The sensitive Cancer Moon encourages us to hide any vulnerability behind our hard crab-like shells. We're well protected, but we're still probably worried about what we should do if we become overwhelmed by changing circumstances. Meanwhile, the Moon harshly aspects the Sun, erratic Uranus and intense Pluto, prompting us to doubt our own feelings. 

Yeah. That's pretty much where I am today. This same astrologer offers this Virgo-specific advice for dealing with a world pretty much overwhelmed by changing circumstances: Thankfully, you can lighten the energy by moving beyond logic. Analysis could become a trap; shift from language into imaginative symbols to find a solution to your current dilemma

What I do

Hope

Little acorn/mighty oak

Sucked into the vortex 

What I promote

Worry wort

Worryless Wort

Free at last

Starlight steerer

The Life Force

Many of you will remember Hurricane Irene - not just as a weather channel news item but because you felt the brunt of it's fury. We're only just now clearing off the last of the downed trees and I believe my guys will be clearing yet another path today. Our eyes have gotten used to paths walled in by sawn off limbs. Our hearts are fairly numb to the piercing we get from our sylvan losses, most of the time, till we take a walk in the forest and come upon one of the great holes in the canopy and have to deal with it again. 

There are a few places where huge holes gape upwards like giant mouths. In this photo all the white used to be tree limbs, sheltering the soft leaf strewn floor, giving off a woodsy scent and furnishing countless homes for numberless squirrels. 

On Sunday BD and I took our regular stroll around the property and we came upon a sight I never see this close - red oak blossoms and tiny yellow oak leaves unfurling. Usually when an oak tree is this fully blooming it's also 50 feet high. This behemoth, though down, is definitely not out yet. Along it's entire length are supple limbs and twigs and sprigs, gushing with life bringing sap. And sure as I'm writing this, there will be one limb that out-thrives the rest - that insists upon living - that will thicken and lengthen and one day will form a strange crooked tree trunk. Because the life force swings back against the inevitable pull of death. It's just that way. In the words of Frost:

Nature's first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leafs a flower;

But only so an hour

then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay. 

The Joy Of Napping

Actaea 

Whew. Double Whew. It has been like that around here - not so much in TheCastle, but within TheRealm. I am going to blame it on the Grand Trine or the sun moving into Ares or the conjunction of Venus and Jupiter - but it doesn't matter what's the cause. I still have to plow through it all. And for some reason, I feel like I have a lot of help surrounding  me. Well. Not for "some" reason. I asked for help - from my spiritual helpers, from God, from friends, from family. So even though this is a very delicate and yet full and fat time, there's some real fun involved as well as a strengthening sense of satisfaction whenever I make a wise step forward.

It isn't just me, either, since Other Loved Ones are going through similar experiences. It's just ... WHEW. In fact, I'm so full of whew that today, at last, a full weekend at home in TheCastle, I plan to take a nap.

I've always been one for a nap. When I was little, nobody had to make me lie down. No Jack-in-the-box toddler here. As part of the bulge in the wave of baby boomers, I only went to school half days till I was in 3rd grade. There just weren't enough classrooms and teachers for us all. As old as 7 I'd come home at lunch time and crash for an afternoon nap. I still think of sleep as a recreational activity - perhaps because it allows me to step into the alternative world of dreams. Whatever the reason, I love me a good nap.

Euphorbia pestilentia

I don't always get a weekend nap and I don't even always need one. This week, though, has been packed with difficult tasks and new routines; some actually scary.  There has been news on the parental front as well - and sister and I are starting the hunt for a skilled nursing home for mama next week. Mama's not ill - she's just too old to live in assisted living any more. Too inert, too frail, too helpless.  crumbs. I didn't get to sleep on Thursday night till it was Friday and I was up early for an important meeting only a few hours later. Yup. I'm exhausted. I need a nap.

Finding time to take a good nap is something else again. But today? Sweet happy today? I have Saturday and Sunday at home - there's only some housework to do - my guys cut and raked the lawn for me yesterday - and later on it's supposed to rain. So when all the work is done, I'm going to soak in a warm bath, pull the sheets back and snuggle down for a sweet nourishing replenishing nap. Ahhhh.

Before I go, though, I wanted to share some springtime images from around the yard - just because.

SPRINGTIME SUNSET

When not napping - why not sit here?

Official First Day of Spring

 It rolled in wrapped in fog. Not a heavy blanket, but a cloudy shawl of misty air accented by the tracery of barely leafed out treetops. The temperature is warm enough but a walk outside will quickly dampen your clothes and leave your skin chilly. Dogs come in with cool moist fur. The spring songbirds don't like this wet weather so the yard is silent, minus their territorial singing and amorous flirtations. It is a quiet still morning that encourages you to roll over and sleep just a few more minutes.

I have an artist cousin who is drawn to these misty landscapes  and watery scenes. I imagine him traipsing through the early mornings with his camera, capturing inspiration with a click.

Today the weather dot com guys are hinting at actual rain - which will be particularly welcome for those beginning to feel effects of pollen. Love truly is in the air right now - plant love. When the sun is out you can hear bees and other hummers zooming about like so many miniature aircraft. Now, though, the mist that hides the low angle of the sun whispers hush hush. Go back to bed.

I wish I could. I hope you can. But if you can't - then take this grey soft wet peace with you throughout the day. Pull it around your shoulders and just see how many barbs and zings it can deflect. Softly softly glide through this first day of spring.