My camera began to leave smudges on pictures last summer. Looking into the lens from the outside I could see a dog hair spread across the glass. I tried to take it out, shake it out, to no avail. I took it to a camera shop and they scoffed - the cost to send it back to the factory just about equaled the cost of a new camera. No. Of course nobody there knew how to open it up and get that dog hair out. It's just a $300 throw-away item. What a scam that is.
There was nothing for it but to start saving for a new camera. I knew I'd have to do that first or a certain complainer I know intimately and spend a lot of time with would add that to the list of reasons I should do without a new camera. And now, 6 months later, the lens is so scratched it hardly matters about the dog hair, so the need is even more pressing.
So. Now I have the need. I have the money. I've had the argument with Someone. So why haven't I bought the durn camera? I think it's time to check in with TheBrains and see what's going on.
* * * * *
Hey. I thought we were going to get a new camera.
dum de dum dum dum
Hey you! You're supposed to be picking out a camera. We did the work. We saved the money. You promised!
Huh? What? God I am sick of winter.
You never do what you say you will.
(Focusing) Don't exagerate. Nobody ever does never
Grrrr. Semantics. You're always promising to do something and then not getting around to it. Where is our new camera?
We have two beautiful new spring dresses.
What's that got to do with it? Why can't you buy us a camera?
Because it's a lot of money and I don't know which is going to be the one we want.
Who cares? they break down after a few years anyway - if you want something different, then just buy a different camera when this one breaks down. Don't you remember that electronics repairman who told us - cameras are now $300 throw-away items?
Alright - then you just go throw away $300.
What is your problem?
You aren't helping any - you have to give me some emotional feedback. What do you WANT in a camera?
I want one that doesn't leave smudges on every photo - I want one with a smooth clear lens
(Rolling her eyes) Thanks a lot. Any new camera will do that ... till you just stuff it in your pocket and let its new lens get all scratched up.
Oh - so it's my fault now. Seems to me we are both using that camera.
(Sigh) No. It's nobody's fault. It's just so hard to decide from among 2,030,498,720 different cameras that all cost about the same and if you don't give me some sort of emotional reaction I don't know if I'll ever be able to figure out what's the best choice. What do you really want?
(Pausing to feel for a moment) Well. I want a great zoom.
Okay
And I want a viewfinder. or at best one of those tilt out LCD screens
got it
And I want the ability to set the film speed at least up to, what? 1200? you know, 100, 200, 400, 800 ... know what I'm talking about?
yes. I do. so - you want some manual controls
yeah. - and it has to be light! I don't want some 2 pound weight hanging around my neck.
okay. got that.
And I want it to take really good pictures - a good lens
Okay so let's tote all that up.
1. Lightweight
2. viewfinder
3. clear photos
4. big zoom
anything else?
Yes yes. I want it to be fast. you know. I want to be able to press the button and catch the shot. At least I'd like it to be faster than the one we have now.
Hmmm. well. That will take some investigating. I wish I knew a real camera expert.
Why not ask Penny?
Hmm. Okay. Yeah. That's a good idea.
And heck, you could call Keith too - he will have some advice.
oh. Oh. Well. Aren't you smart.
(smirking) I have my own intelligence.
(Grinning) I never doubted it.
So. You gonna pick something out and order it?
Yes. of course. I was always going to do that.
Yeah, but when?
Ummm. when I have decided.
When will that be?
Look - it'll be when it is
(looking stern and slightly rebellious)
ah ah ah - don't you dare start eating blueberry donuts and Cheetos.
Give me a deadline then
woo woo - who are you to be insisting on deadlines, miss I-Gotta-Feel-Me ?
Right now I'm the one in charge and you are the slacker. Besides, I need your schedules and deadlines to feel safe. I wish you would set one.
(sighs) Alright. But you must promise to not say "wait wait wait" as I'm clicking on the "purchase" button.
It's a promise. So When?
Saturday. Oh. No. Can't do that. we'll be in the car. Monday. I'll do it Monday morning March 2.
But you'll do all the rest too? Call Penny and Keith?
Yes.
When?
(eyes widening)
Please? Please make me feel safe with a schedule?
(eyes softening and smiling tenderly) Okay. Here's the schedule.
Great! No. GREAT! Thank you.
Well, sugar, Thank you too for pushing me on this. I feel better already.
Me too.
There was nothing for it but to start saving for a new camera. I knew I'd have to do that first or a certain complainer I know intimately and spend a lot of time with would add that to the list of reasons I should do without a new camera. And now, 6 months later, the lens is so scratched it hardly matters about the dog hair, so the need is even more pressing.
So. Now I have the need. I have the money. I've had the argument with Someone. So why haven't I bought the durn camera? I think it's time to check in with TheBrains and see what's going on.
* * * * *
Hey. I thought we were going to get a new camera.dum de dum dum dumHey you! You're supposed to be picking out a camera. We did the work. We saved the money. You promised!Huh? What? God I am sick of winter.You never do what you say you will.(Focusing) Don't exagerate. Nobody ever does neverGrrrr. Semantics. You're always promising to do something and then not getting around to it. Where is our new camera?We have two beautiful new spring dresses.What's that got to do with it? Why can't you buy us a camera?Because it's a lot of money and I don't know which is going to be the one we want.Who cares? they break down after a few years anyway - if you want something different, then just buy a different camera when this one breaks down. Don't you remember that electronics repairman who told us - cameras are now $300 throw-away items?Alright - then you just go throw away $300.What is your problem?You aren't helping any - you have to give me some emotional feedback. What do you WANT in a camera?I want one that doesn't leave smudges on every photo - I want one with a smooth clear lens(Rolling her eyes) Thanks a lot. Any new camera will do that ... till you just stuff it in your pocket and let its new lens get all scratched up.Oh - so it's my fault now. Seems to me we are both using that camera.(Sigh) No. It's nobody's fault. It's just so hard to decide from among 2,030,498,720 different cameras that all cost about the same and if you don't give me some sort of emotional reaction I don't know if I'll ever be able to figure out what's the best choice. What do you really want?(Pausing to feel for a moment) Well. I want a great zoom.OkayAnd I want a viewfinder. or at best one of those tilt out LCD screensgot itAnd I want the ability to set the film speed at least up to, what? 1200? you know, 100, 200, 400, 800 ... know what I'm talking about?yes. I do. so - you want some manual controlsyeah. - and it has to be light! I don't want some 2 pound weight hanging around my neck.okay. got that.And I want it to take really good pictures - a good lensOkay so let's tote all that up.1. Lightweight
2. viewfinder
3. clear photos
4. big zoom
anything else?
Yes yes. I want it to be fast. you know. I want to be able to press the button and catch the shot. At least I'd like it to be faster than the one we have now.Hmmm. well. That will take some investigating. I wish I knew a real camera expert.Why not ask Penny?Hmm. Okay. Yeah. That's a good idea.And heck, you could call Keith too - he will have some advice.oh. Oh. Well. Aren't you smart.(smirking) I have my own intelligence.(Grinning) I never doubted it.So. You gonna pick something out and order it?Yes. of course. I was always going to do that.Yeah, but when?Ummm. when I have decided.When will that be?Look - it'll be when it is(looking stern and slightly rebellious)ah ah ah - don't you dare start eating blueberry donuts and Cheetos. Give me a deadline thenwoo woo - who are you to be insisting on deadlines, miss I-Gotta-Feel-Me ?Right now I'm the one in charge and you are the slacker. Besides, I need your schedules and deadlines to feel safe. I wish you would set one.(sighs) Alright. But you must promise to not say "wait wait wait" as I'm clicking on the "purchase" button.It's a promise. So When?Saturday. Oh. No. Can't do that. we'll be in the car. Monday. I'll do it Monday morning March 2.But you'll do all the rest too? Call Penny and Keith?Yes. When?(eyes widening)Please? Please make me feel safe with a schedule?(eyes softening and smiling tenderly) Okay. Here's the schedule.
Today we will call Penny.
Tomorrow we will call Keith.
Wednesday we will look at website reviews.
Thursday we will talk it over.
Friday we will decide.
Monday we will buy.
How does that sound?
Great! No. GREAT! Thank you.Well, sugar, Thank you too for pushing me on this. I feel better already.Me too.
* * * *
Well - at least they have a plan. Me? I still have my doubts, fueled, I am sure, by this dreadfully long mushy cold icy mud spell of End-0-February weather. Better let them take charge.
I'll be back Monday with a report.
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