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Saturday, December 10, 2011

A Different Feeling

Christmas is just 2 weeks away and I can't really think what I should be doing. It's Saturday and of course the house needs cleaning - houses are like toddlers - they need your attention all the time. If you ignore them very long they become bratty - and dirty. But this close to Christmas I feel like I ought to be rushing towards ... something.

Oh - there are festive activities on the calendar ... tomorrow's Lesson's in Carols at St. John's . Monday's visit with J - and some Christmas Shopping. Friday's gathering of friends at Lewis Ginter for the light show. Then the final rush of that last week with tree hunting, (and decorating), present wrapping and Christmas dinner cooking. Oh. And yes. I do have a job and all .....

But somehow this just doesn't feel like other years have felt. It feels exceedingly laid back which, for even a close to the cusp Virgo, feels like I'm forgetting something. Perhaps this is because of the altered state of my family with Daddy gone and Mama not present enough to answer the phone or to pick it up and call me. I can go all week now without hearing from her - when last year she would be calling several times a day. And when we do connect the conversation is empty. Thank goodness when we're together we can still really converse - but phone chat, something I've never been very good at anyway, is difficult.

Maybe it's the eclipse - which is happening as I type this - with both Mercury and Uranus turning out of retrograde as well. Maybe it's the mild weather we've been having. Hardly a morning with frost all autumn and even today's so-called cold snap will last only through the weekend.

Whatever it is - it's a different sort of Christmas season for me - smaller, slower, maybe easier too.

I remember Christmases of such frenzy I was spanked and sent to bed. In fact, that seems like it happened every year though I believe it was only a couple of times. Probably when I was 10 and driving everybody nuts that year anyway. There were also those Christmases when we were broke ... like the first 10 years we were married. The budget for Christmas was always $100 and that had to include the tree, the dinner and the presents. Travel involved both a trip to Richmond and one to D.C. to visit both grandmas - who, after all, couldn't come have Christmas with us - in a yurt.

So our rule was always to stay home on TheDay and do our traveling afterwards. Now there is almost no traveling to do. Sisters are scattered too far away. Most of the Grandparents are gone and I am not a grandmother myself ...

Well. Durn. If I keep writing on this post I will become depressed - which I am not. Just different. and Weird. But a nice sort of weird. I think I better just go do something else.

Happy Eclipse Day to you - and may your Christmas spirit be bright, whether it is different or same. 

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