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Saturday, December 5, 2015

Saturday Thoughts

And sneezing! La! I collided with something yesterday that has my nose in an uproar! I've been sneezing almost constantly since about 4 o'clock and it is not pretty. I wonder what it was that I am so allergic to. Yes. I've taken zyrtek and no it doesn't seem to be helping. Glad I have a new box of tissues.

But anyway

That's not what I'm thinking about - I'm pondering the issue of magic pills to make you skinny.  And body image. And instant gratification. And what feels like Rat Park and not Rat Prison. (see Martha Beck's book "4-Day Win" or check out this link: 

I'm still wondering about talking to my sister and her experience with the weight loss drug Contrave. I'm also pondering our longing for instant perfection at the swallow of a pill - though I'd prefer the touch of a magic wand. I've never really had much confidence in the old DuPont slogan Better Living Through Chemistry. Got way more faith in magic. And why the AICH am I still getting images of Kr is tee  Brink lee at sixtee won in my sidebars and puh-leeze! No More with the sixty one year olds looking like twenty year olds.

I know. It's spelled differently but ever since I typed in Cee Bee's name in some blog I posted I've been flooded with More Robot Driven ads. As Gawd is Mah Witnuss,  I swear I will never type the Cee Bee word again.

And truly - I don't mind it that Someone looks 20 at 60.Well - maybe 40 - 'cause I mean, look at her throat. That ain't no 24 year old neck. And besides, I don't think that someone else's situation in life is a reflection on me. I don't think her beauty takes away from my beauty any more than I think that your money takes away from my bank account. They're not even remotely connected.

What I'm really thinking about is .... why do we feel so much pressure from the opinions of Other People. Today, Sparkpeople had this blog from staff writer Allicia Capetillo:
Will Hollywood Ever  Learn to Stop Worrying and Love Real Bodies? 

And my first reaction to that question was ... well, who cares if it does or doesn't?  What gives Hollywood so much power? Or rather, who does? Well - we do. Or rather, A Person does. You do. I do. Or don't. Our choice. We don't have to give anyone that power.

And yet.

And yet I like to check in on what stars and models and fashion magazines are advising. I seriously love me some pretty clothes. I love my image of me when I'm feeling hot hot hot. I even love shopping! Even when I weighed XXX lbs I loved shopping for clothes. The puzzle ... the MATH ... the Geometry of finding clothes that flattered ME ME ME ME ME was always interesting - always fun. Mind now - it's way way way more fun finding clothes that fit the fitter slimmer me - but pleasure in pretty clothes has always been mine.

And when I was at my heaviest, did I want a pill to make me instantly slim? I am sure I did - or ... as I said before .... I longed for a magic wand to tap me on the head and sprinkle sparkles on me to make me instantly slim. Yes. I did want that. instant gratification - instant fix.

And if I dig far enough into the store lot of my memory I can still feel the ache of yearning, from my teenage self, for skinny legs, like Patti Hayes. (or Twiggy .. just in case you need a mental image). I went years without wearing jeans or pants because I thought I had fat thighs, even though my legs are the slimmest part of my figure - were even then!

So, for sure, I understand THAT we give such power to the media - to Hollywood and Glamour Magazine and the fashion spreads in People. And those irritating Cee Bee photos (do you suspect that there's one in the right hand sidebar of my page right now?  One that won't scroll away as I type this post? You would be right)

What I don't understand is WHY we give such power away. Because, one thing I know for sure is that, while when we take power for ourselves we are not diminishing another, when we give power away we are diminishing ourselves.

LOL - which would be fine if what we were diminishing were the adipose fat cells on our hips and waists and backs and thighs. alas. Those we can't just give away.

We have to diminish them away. And the only way to diminish them without diminishing health, energy, vigor, and self esteem is   S L O W L Y  - and by eating healthy foods and moving our now diminishing bodies.

Having lost substantial weight twice now by making daily healthy changes and slowly dropping the lbs, I know that I'd rather lose weight that way. Is it because the process of slowly getting better prolongs the compliments, the praise, the excitement of looking in the mirror and seeing something I like?

I'm so glad I didn't miss out on the process. What a loss that would have been. The re-gains came and there may be another one in my future - I don't know. Usually they came as the result of some outside blow, not because I got lazy or disenchanted with my new fit healthy self. and none of them ever took me back up to the scary XXX number. Always, before I got that kind of heavy again, I'd remember the process, the pleasure, the skills I'd used before, and I'd start that pleasure process again.

Each time I   S L O W L Y   work my way back down to the happy weight I learn more skills for finding pleasure by making "staying there" a process too - a pleasure process - a process pleasure. Even when I wish for the magic wand to tap myself on the head - or to tap a beloved sister or a friend or even some stranger I see  ... the magic I want to happen is that they - and I - begin to feel the process pleasure - that they - and I -  begin to want the healthy over the icky, the right portion over the humongous one, the thrill of taking back our power - from Hollywood - from the media - from the memories of our own hurt selves.

So. so those are my thoughts on a chilly Saturday morning in early December. Thanks for stopping by - thanks for reading - please feel free to leave a comment.


  1. Bess, STOP. i am 63. You are the same (or nearby). When I married (just shy of 23) I was 108 lb. Today -- two children and one widowhood + 40 years later -- I am 132. Before that I went up and down once; after that I went up and down twice. I remain on WW lest I creep up...and though I jog 3-4 miles 3 X per week...I am not as fast as I once was. Nor am I as willing to surrender my before-dinner cocktail...BUT I remain healthy, trim, able to move without knee or hip issues...and I emmulate no-one. I watch my portions, have the occasional (well, maybe weekly) splurge...and (the blessing of being a widow) have no one to impress. That said, my late Sweetie loved me as I aged...I suggest you shut out the world and have a good talk with that you can know her and love her as the rest of us do. I have seen your recent photos. You are aging well physically. See that you do it with dignity too, because you are loved for who you are. Be healthy. Be strong. Be vulnerable. Be open to failure, love, hope, and the blessings of prayer. Love your DH and your DS and your DIL, and live life. Manage your body -- for health only...To the glory of the One who gave it to you.

  2. I dunno. I've seen too many instances of those "magic" pills that later on turned out to be not so magic (as in, caused heart valve damage or something). I tend to be suspicious of things that might fight the natural tendency of the body.

    I once went to a doctor who wanted to "talk to" me about an rx for weight loss pills - this at a visit where I had come in to get a flu vaccine - I stopped going to that doctor. (And later on, one of the ingredients of the pills was taken off the market).

    I've calmed down a lot about my weight after going to a new doctor, who seems more concerned about my eating healthfully (which I try to do) and exercising (which I do) than the number on the scale. And ironically, I've lost maybe 10-15 pounds from my heaviest weight....

  3. OOOPS

    You guys misunderstood me. I was struggling about how to bring up my concern with my sister taking Contrave. She of the sudden quadruple by-pass surgery 2 weeks ago. She already had a heart issue and then suddenly 6 blockages?!?

    NOBODY wants unsolicited advice - especially not from a big sister. But to say nothing seemed ... unloving and cowardly. I did talk to her about it and only got the slightest push-back so I know she is thinking along my lines. what she decides to do is her business. At least she's thinking about things.

    As for the Kris Tee Bring Klee issue = well - that was just a rant.